How NOT To Behave At Charlie Trotter’s
Chicago’s Charlie Trotter’s is arguably one of the very best two or three restaurants in the country-and that prestige comes with an equally elite, some might say “pretentious,” atmosphere. I recently had the good luck of dining at Charlie Trotters thanks to the generosity of two friends I’ll call “dining companion #1″ and “dining companion #2.” Both dining companions have lived in New York and thus consider themselves to be experts of all things culinary, having sampled most of what that great city has to offer. It SHOULD have been a great evening; instead it was either a tragedy or a farce, depending on your perspective. Here are some suggestions on how NOT to behave at Charlie Trotters (or any other gourmet restaurant, for that matter):
1. Do not spend the three hours prior to your reservation at a sportsbar sampling many and varied brews.
2. Do not help yourself to a glass of wine while you wait five whole minutes to be seated.
3. Do not, after eating the second course, “Tasmanian Ocean Salmon with Orange Rind, Fennel Pollen & Trout Roe Vinaigrette,” tell your server that it was a bit “fishy.”
4. Do not call each other-loudly-“douchebag” and “asshole.”
4a. When dining companion #1 is asked by staff to soften his “booming voice,” dining companion #2 should not say “hey! What about me?”
5. Resist, please, please, resist the urge to order that second bottle of wine.
6. Do not fall asleep in your desert. Yes, it is cake and ice cream, but you are not a five year old at a birthday party.
Much to my delight, I was able to finish my meal in relative peace while dining companions numbers 1 and 2 dozed off. Dining companion #2 roused himself to take care of the enormous check and woke dining companion #1 with a solid punch to the arm. I watched with glee while dining companions numbers 1 and 2 were each assisted down the narrow stairway to the street by two Charlie Trotter’s employees, one on each side. I saw them into their cab (and off on their further debauch), then jumped in my own cab, happy to be going home, to bed, where one deserves to be after a ten course meal. I’m sure it was an evening that none of us, well, except dining companions 1 and 2, will soon forget.